


Plan B

by myownspecialself



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-09
Updated: 2006-03-09
Packaged: 2019-02-05 17:15:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12798810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myownspecialself/pseuds/myownspecialself
Summary: A short and fluffy kink!fic in which Major Nick Lorne has a hard time disciplining Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard.Dr. Rodney McKay, ever so resourceful, comes up with a solution.





	Plan B

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

  
Author's notes: Spoilers: None.  
Disclaimer: Written for entertainment purposes only. No profit involved.  
Warning: M/m, PWP, spanking, handcuffs (briefly). Implied tickling. Possible crack!fic elements, too.  
  
~  
Thanks to Diluvian for the title. Thanks also to Drkcherry for the beta on short notice.  
~  


* * *

**PLAN B**

 

"…And another thing," Nick growled as he slapped John's bare ass, "if I ever find out you've been calling me 'Boo-Boo Bear' behind my back again, the spanking will be twice as long next time."

 

"Actually, you're more like Yogi Bear now that I think about it. " John was face-down on the bed, but Nick heard the smirk in his voice. " You're not a fan of cartoons? And yet you own a couple of pairs of Flintstones boxers. And one with The Jetsons, too."

 

"Silence!" Nick raised his hand higher and swung harder, and the impact on John's ass was great enough to push John's face into the mattress so that his yelp was muffled. "The issue here is not my choice of underwear, sir. The issue is how you've misbehaved and why I'm spanking your sarcastic, smart-ass butt--"

 

John raised his head and tried to look over his shoulder. "I like that: 'sarcastic, smart-ass butt.' Major, do you lay awake at night thinking up these--"

 

_Whap_. "Don't interrupt me, colonel!"

 

"Sorry." Except he wasn't, and Nick knew that perfectly well; only John could fill two simple syllables with so much mockery.

 

"First of all," Nick smacked the other ass-cheek to focus John's attention, "you ordered me to babysit Team 5 on that mission to P2Y-664, thus making it impossible for me to attend the winter holiday staff party."

 

"Well, you didn't miss much. The crab puffs were definitely second-rate, the champagne was warm, if you can believe that, and quite frankly, the wreath centerpieces contained neither poinsettia nor holly and were just absolutely hideous--"

 

"Shut up, sir." Nick pushed John's face down into the pillow and heard a _mmph_ of protest. Satisfied, he slapped John's ass again.

 

"Mmkay. Also, ow."

 

"By the way, sir, you should see your ass. It's practically glowing like a ZPM." He pushed John's face again down into the pillow to forestall any response and because, yeah, he felt like it. But John managed to speak anyway.

 

"Mmphk-youmph, major."

 

Nick tugged on John's hair to raise his head and look into his eyes. "Sir, that better not have been what I think you just said. Or did you mean it as an invitation?" And then: "Goddamit, sir, stop grinning!"

 

"Okay, hold on just a second." Nick looked up at Rodney, who sighed loudly as he got up from the chair, tucked himself back into his pants and approached the bed. "Not that it's your fault, Nick, but I really don't think this is going the way we want it to." He turned towards the far end of the room where there was a closet. "Maybe we should try something different instead of spanking."

 

"Yeah, hey, maybe some music." John said as he rubbed his ass. "Rodney, why don't you play that Celine Dion CD of yours? Now that would be punishment."

 

Rodney sighed again. "You see? This is what I have to put up with all the time." His voice was full of quiet indignation, and Nick gave a nod of sympathy as he followed Rodney to the closet. " Do I ever say anything about his Barry White CDs? I do not. Or his Barry White _impersonations_? Again, I most certainly do not."

 

From the general direction of John's bed there was a snicker, which Rodney seemed to ignore; instead, he jerked open the closet door. "And when he spends the night, he never puts the cap back on the toothpaste tube and he leaves hair gel smeared all over the damn bathroom. I think he even puts the toilet seat down just to annoy me." Then in a voice so low and choked that Nick wondered if he had heard right: "And if he ever yells 'Who's your daddy?' again while we're having sex, I swear, I will _bludgeon_ him."

 

"So anyway, I have an idea," Rodney continued in a normal voice as he rummaged in the closet, "Let's see. I bet he keeps it… ah, yes, yes, yes. Here we go."

 

Rodney took out a box and removed the lid. He reached in and brought out what appeared to be a kind of headdress made of feathers that were inserted into a band of colorful fabric.

 

"Don't touch that! It was a very special gift from the Marconian elders." John was now getting up and Nick quickly moved over to the bed, shoved him face down and jammed a knee in his back.

 

"Hey!" John's protest came through a mouthful of pillow.

 

"Going somewhere, sir?" Nick snarled as John struggled beneath him. Then, looking up at Rodney: "Um, is one of us going to wear that?"

 

"Not exactly." Rodney gently plucked the largest feather from the band. He held it up so that Nick could see, and then he ran the feather lightly across the open palm of his other hand, and-- oh, right!-- Nick understood what was coming next.

 

He looked down at John, whose head was turned toward Rodney to see what was going on. Nick noticed that John's eyes were now very big; apparently he, too, understood Rodney's plan, which was really the only reason why he swallowed once, very hard, and then said, "Okay guys, it's been fun, but now I'm thinking we're done here." It was really a plea and not a statement. "So whaddya say we call it a day and you can each go back to your rooms and-- umph--"

 

Nick had pushed down some more with his knee. "Hell, no, sir. We've barely started."

 

Rodney went over to the nightstand and took out a pair of handcuffs and held them out to Nick. "I'd advise using these. Believe me, you don't want him flailing and catching you with one of his elbows."

 

Nick quickly cuffed John's hands behind his back and rolled John over so that he was face up. John's eyes were still very big. "Um, major? You know, you don't have to," John said in a quiet voice as he squirmed. "Really."

 

"No, I don't have to." Nick straddled John and then settled some of his weight on John's crotch. He reached out and tweaked a hairy nipple, and John whimpered. "But the thing is, sir, I _want_ to." He ran one hand back and forth across John's ribcage as he held out the other hand to Rodney, who was now busy standing by the bed and humming a tune of some kind and earnestly ignoring the 'I swear by every constellation in this galaxy that I will get you for this' glare that John was sending his way.

 

"Right, then.'' Rodney's tone turned business-like and the smile on his lips was diabolical as he placed the feather in Nick's hand. He went to the foot of the bed, grasped John's ankles and nodded to Nick. "Let the games begin."

 

~END~


End file.
